Thursday, October 15, 2009

I'm a Blogger!!!

So, honestly, do I think that my life is sooo interesting, that I need to write down the details of everyday living in the life of Lori? The answer is....that is a definite negative!!! But, sometimes, I have so much going on in my mind, that I just need to write it out. So, this is probably more for me than you! Will people actually follow my ramblings? Doubtful! (That kinda sounded like, I am going to start a cult!!) But, at least I can ease my mind, without having to pick up a pen and notebook!!! Anyway, you will find, IF you choose to follow this blog, that I write like I talk!! I am sooooo random at times....most times!! So, I apologize in advance, for the blog not flowing! You may have trouble following the ramblings! But, that's how I am and I am giving you plenty of warning!!

Now, to what is on my heart! I must admit that I am actually getting paid to type this right now! I am actually on-call!! And it is 1:47 in the AM!! Too bad, it's only $1.50 an hour!! Nonetheless, making money to create a blog!!!The joys of being a nurse!!! But, I am really glad that God has allowed this time for me to sit and reflect!! I was able to spend some wonderful one on one time with the Creator of the Universe!! Isn't it funny how we can in our selfish minds think things like, "Great, I'm on-call tonight, so I must stay up for most of the night waiting to see if I'll be called in to work. Really, wish I could go to bed." All the while, God is saying, "Now, we can have some needed alone time." Thank you Father for allowing me to enter into Your presence!! Thank you Father for drawing me to you! Forgive me Lord, that I don't take advantage of all the times that You have called me into your presence! I have missed so many blessings!!

The last year of my life has been a roller coaster, but it has been the absolute BEST year of my life!! God has truly been at work in my life and I am so thankful that He chose me to live this particular life!! For those of you who aren't familiar with the details of our journey, here is a brief synopsis: I married Brad in 2004. By January of 2005, WE had decided that we were okay with the idea of having babies..I do stress the WE part!! And so our journey begins!!! I could tell you every single detail about our journey and maybe, if that's what God wants me to do, I just might, but for now, know that we started a journey into the infertility world, also known as "The Trial that Truly Changed Us!!!" Imagine that, God using something like infertility to make you into the person that He wants you to be and knows you can be!! Thank you God that you work everything out for the good of those who love you. After 4 1/2 years of God holding us "in the fire," aka, "The Trial that Truly Changed Us," He saw it fit for us to become the parents of an amazing little boy named Andrew! I am so amazed at God's goodness!! It's so wild to think about how I could have missed out on this blessing, because I was so caught up in what I wanted, when I wanted it!! I was so selfish and questioned God soooo many times over the course of the 4 1/2 years!! I am ashamed to think of all the times I asked God, "Why?" Why God, did I miscarry my babies? Why Lord, does she get to be pregnant again, and I can't get pregnant at all? Why God, did you even let me see that baby and buy her clothes and prepare my home for her, if you knew that her mom wouldn't sign the papers for us to adopt her?

He could have given in to my rantings and moanings and given me children when I wanted them, and trust me I begged Him for them, but then I wouldn't have received His best, which was Andrew. Thank you Lord for having plans for me and my family! Thank you Lord, for not allowing me to mess up your perfect plan!!

You know, God is in the details! It's a simple statement, but sometimes it is so hard to convince yourself of it! He knew the EXACT time that I would become a mom! He knew the EXACT baby that was going to be mine! I have to trust that He is in the details! It's so easy to say that you know He's in the details...Sometimes, it's just so stinkin' hard to believe it in your heart, when you want, what you want, when you want it! Let's not miss out on all of His best blessings for us, because WE are "tangled up" in the details!!

I guess I'll call the hospital and see if its okay to go to bed! I wonder if I will remember that I have started a blog!! I hope so!!

1 comment:

  1. Oh...I will remind you that you have started a blog ;) - I love it! I love the name too! It's better than Dollar General!! Blogs are VERY therapeutic to me!

    I want to hear this story in detail. You and Brad have been through the fire and maybe that's why you are so mature *wink, wink* I'm rejoicing with you that you are starting to see God's plan worked out in all of this!

    You are GREAT! I love you and your Posse!