Monday, March 22, 2010

So thankful God chose me to be his mom....

Seriously....I think I hit the big jackpot! This baby brings me soooo much joy!! I am so overwhelmed when I think about how much God must love me, to give me Andrew!! I know that if I could go back, I would not change ONE thing about my life!! I would cry every tear, I would feel every hurt, I would endure every negative pregnancy test, I would fake a smile everytime someone asked me if we were going to have kids, I would rejoice again about my twins, and then mourn my miscarriage just weeks later...I would do every single second the same, just to get to be his mom!! He is a perfect fit for Brad and I, and I am so thankful God chose us to be his parents.

He has been sooo cute the last couple of weeks! He's such a big man now that he's a whopping 10 months old!! I know I am partial, but I do believe that I have THE smartest 10 month old ever!!! He's so sweet...You can ask him, "Andrew, how old are you going to be on your birthday?" And he'll hold up one little finger and then grins from ear to ear!! OWNS ME!!!! Seriously, I love this kid!! Another precious thing that he does, he tries to sing when you sing to him!! He especially likes Old MacDonald and Itsy, Bitsy spider! He claps his hands, and tries to do the animal sounds and is grinning the entire time!! I could eat him up, he's so cute!! I mean, you guys may be thinking, "Not sure he's the smartest kid, he should've been doing those things months ago!!!" Keep it to yourself, please, because right now, I am believing he's the smartest child alive!!! Seriously!!! He's finally using a sippy cup! Now, don't get too excited, he still wants us to hold it, but he's finally drinking from one!!! He loves riding in his little red wagon...Dad pulls him A LITTLE fast, but HE LOVES IT!!! I need to post the video if I can figure out how to do it!!! He's walking everywhere, as long as you're holding his hands!! The other night, Brad was walking him around and they stopped and Brad let go, and Andrew just stood there for probably 20 seconds!! But, he had no idea what he was doing, because he was pitching a fit because his dad let go!! We started brushing his 3 little teeth!! He loves that!! He tries to brush his own hair and then he'll try to brush Brad's beard!! Very cute!!! Today, he copied everything we said! He tried to say it all!! It won't be long before he's chatting away!!! I know these are random thoughts! I'm trying to remember all of the sooo cute things that he's been doing and they are popping up in my mind slowly!!

When I took him to his bed for the night, I laid him down on his belly, and he pulled his little legs up underneath him and poked his little booty out, and went right to sleep!! Seeing that is what got me to write the blog tonight!! I love him!! I could not imagine my life without him!! I am so blessed!!!

Okay, final thought.....I DO know what it's like to long for a child!! I do know how it feels to weep over the negative pregnancy tests, the miscarriages, the failed adoptions, a good friends' exciting news, "I'm pregnant!!" I DO know what it's like to ask God if He knows how bad I hurt and if He really loves me!!! But now, I look at Andrew (hand-picked by GOD ALMIGHTY, for ME!!!) and I can see exactly what God was doing in my life!! I can see that He was growing me into the woman that He wanted me to be, He was making me into the wife that He knew Brad deserved, and He was putting some extra touches on me so that I could be a wonderful mother to a fantastic little boy!!! If there is someone reading this that is experiencing fertility problems, I hope to give you a LITTLE bit of encouragement!! I know it's easy for me to say, because I do have a child, but God is in the details...He has not forgotten about you....He knows your desires to be a mother, but He sees the big picture and He has the PERFECT plan picked out for you!!! You have to trust His heart!!! Try to look at it like this, The same God that created the universe, loves you so much that He is using this trial to move you closer to Him!! He's allowing you to be a small piece to His huge master puzzle!! I promise you, if you choose to become the person that He wants you to be, one day you will look back and be so grateful for this trial!! I am!!